Bernardete F. Leal

Do you remember when you were a child, falling and hurting yourself? Or how you felt when your knee was scratched and sore? If you were a very active child, you may have had some hard falls that led to fractures. Those scratches, bruises, and accidents that happened in your childhood have healed, but the healing certainly did not happen overnight.


We are familiar with physical pain. Sometimes it goes away with a painkiller or anti-inflammatory, or in other cases, it lingers for a while. Some types of pain, though, do not disappear easily; they are injuries and fractures that just a band-aid, cast, or stitches cannot cure. They are the emotional wounds that, like any other injury, take time to heal. Most of them are caused by trauma and strong emotions that are engraved in our memory (conscious or not) and even in our souls. 


These wounds can affect our relationship with people around us, society, and most importantly, they reflect in our behavior. Emotional outbursts, anger, depression, anxiety, and irritation can arise as a result of these wounds that, once ignored, run the risk of becoming a volcano: when we least expect it, it erupts! It’s that beach ball full of air that we try to sink in the pool, or the dirt we always sweep under the rug. We may ignore them for a long time, but one day the ball rises to the surface, or the dirt piles up for years and starts to smell.


Many emotional wounds originate at home. They can be so deep that, if not dealt with, they create marks in the perispirit, leaving sequels that can extend to the next reincarnation.  Therefore, it is of great importance to create a family environment that has peace and harmony for those who live in it, and especially for children.


A child reflects what he or she has been exposed to. Children who have been raised in a home with no love, or suffered abuse, witnessed violence, and seen their parents argue continuously, will have these memories registered in them. Depending on the severity of what the child has experienced, and if nothing has been done to help him or her with these issues, the child may develop some emotional wounds. Consequently, when the child or adult disincarnates, he/she will carry with him/her those marks that were not healed in life.  We lose the physical body but our emotions, experiences, and knowledge do not die with the flesh.


This is why the Spiritist philosophy reminds us of the parent’s responsibility in the upbringing of their children, as we see in Question 208 of the Spirits’ Book:  “As we have already told you, spirits are made to assist one another’s progress. The parents have the mission of developing, through education, the spirits of their children. This is their appointed task, and they can’t fail to complete it without being held accountable.”  Unfortunately, many parents fail, for they “put more effort into pruning trees in their gardens and making them bear a large crop of fruit, than the time they devote to molding the character of their children.”  (L.E. Question 582).


In a family group, we are emotionally connected and living in a continuous exchange of energy (positive or negative).  Our actions and words affect the environment we live in, which is why it is so important to pray frequently, to teach the Gospel at Home, and to treat others well.  Everyone in our family is there to help each other and to make some adjustments from past lives. In addition, every child or adult benefits from kindness and affection, which should start at home. Who doesn’t like to be appreciated, respected, and loved?


So parents, as a new day begins, be aware of your actions, words, and responsibility toward your child. The spirit is eternal but the impact on a child’s life, who will be an adult in the future, may have repercussions in the present, and in the afterlife. So  “Be kind to children. They need opportunity and love to succeed. These citizens in the making do not know the struggles that lie ahead.” (Happy Life XXVIII).  Parents, be the best role model you can be, as Saint-Exupéry said, “You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed.”


Bernadete F. Leal, M. Ed., is a teacher in California, USA. She has been collaborating with the dissemination of Spiritism in America for over 25 years, through her writings, videos, lectures, and workshops.




Kardec, Allan. The Spirits’ Book.

Pereira Franco, Divaldo (author) & Angelis, Joanna de (spirit). Happy Life, Chap. XXVII.

Saint-Exupéry, Antoine. The Little Prince.

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